It took soul-searching, or rather “skinning” myself to get down to the layers of pain in my hard heart. I think I finally peeled off all the bandages that I had wrapped around the wound in my heart, and I came to the thorn…the nugget of truth about what was hurting so bad. I am […]Read Post ›
I am happy to say, I was able to get back into my blogs here at WordPress, after a lengthy absence. I was unable to remember my sign in information for the longest time, but finally I was able to get back here!!! My sister blog, Out of the Gutter Art, has been languishing also, […]Read Post ›
Profoundly Alive. Zestful. Happy. Hopeful. Forward Looking. Lifted up. Elated. Active. Alive. Aware. Absolutely Positive. I am these things, I am all of them. I must believe that I am. Loveable. Loved. Free. Truthful. Beautiful. My heart healed, my wings mended, my joy complete. I am now the person I always wished I could be. […]Read Post ›
This is the part that hurts. Feeling a vague feeling of guilt, knowing that this ebbing manic period has left devastation in my life again, not sure yet what it is. I feel like I’m coming down from a drinking/drugging binge, coming out of a blackout. Sick and hurting, depressed and angry at myself. I […]Read Post ›
I am totally mixed up- headed for a crash all I have created- right into the trash. where will I be when the smoke clears? who will I be when the time nears? I hear voices all the time now’ can no longer recall which one is mine, I mean to call or drop a […]Read Post ›
all the fear, for all those years spent broken, spent frightened spent. awake now, knowing how feel inside, heal outside heal. would you know? how could you know never told you, afraid to hold you afraid. perfect plans laid, got the debt paid freedom? slavery? freedom. traveled long way, got back today missed home, […]Read Post ›
We love our pets, don’t we? When you have no children, and you are trapped for 10 years in a house with elderly, sick and dying parents your pets come to have a whole new meaning to you. I always was loopy about them, and as time has gone on my family and I have […]Read Post ›
Forgetting where I have come from is a double edged sword. Those who forget the past are doomed to relive it, I have heard. Most of mine I would rather not relive, but I want to keep all the lessons I have learned. I have some trouble in that area, because I keep getting the […]Read Post ›
We have come to a crossroads in our lives as father and daughter. I have spent a good part of my life being my parents’ caregiver, both my Mom(rectal cancer) and Dad’s ( Dementia/Alzheimer’s). While their suffering has been extensive I am going to focus a bit on the changes a Codependent-Bipolar-Recovering Addict/Alcoholic with […]Read Post ›
Wouldn’t it be funny if, after really impressing on the Doctor how awful I feel, all the new tests showed nothing! It seems to often be that way with me, to the point that my integrity (and sanity….) come into question when the results are discussed. If this new round of X-rays, Echocardiogram and venous Doppler […]Read Post ›
