What this means to me : I hope that it means that some where, in this great big world, a child won’t be violated tonight…because someone talked to a parent, a trusted adult, a mental health professional, a trusted member of law enforcement, a dear friend, and told them what had happened. And that the […]Read Post ›
Cant wake up. I feel like I am sick inside, hot and cold, sticky and uncomfortable one minute , all dry and freezing the next. I feel like I’m going thru withdrawals, and twitchy, jerky-but from what?!? I feel that it is the Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo that I have endured since a series of […]Read Post ›
I did something today that has me all twisted up inside like it just happened…And I thought I was SO far Over It, So Healed, So Strong, So SMART. All the years and years and years of therapy, and here I am again. Bruised, tattered, and lying on the cold floor of a dark green tent, somewhere […]Read Post ›
I am here again, on lock down of my own making. Wanting the isolation while longing for company. I feel unsure, unsteady, and oh, so tired. The dialogue inside my head has slowed, and the gist of it is dire, down and miserable. I hate myself like this, and that adds to my misery because […]Read Post ›
The wind blows, my mind slips back into some disturbing dream. Was it me then, or is it me now? I can’t believe where I have been. I yearn for escape, memories come reminding me what I have done. I chose a new way, on a hopeful day, changed my methods and my means… […]Read Post ›
I am happy to say, I was able to get back into my blogs here at WordPress, after a lengthy absence. I was unable to remember my sign in information for the longest time, but finally I was able to get back here!!! My sister blog, Out of the Gutter Art, has been languishing also, […]Read Post ›
A deep abiding sadness, wistfulness… like watching a deer in the meadow, at dusk just before that shot rings out. Beauty/ Pain/ heartbreak/ death Their young faces haunt me, these young men I have not met. How strange it all was to them: Surreal Landscape, Unreal Assignments- You must die taking this hill, then let […]Read Post ›
Strange days, these. People are acting wild, out of control. There is fear in their eyes, urgency in their speech. Anger in their hearts. I have been running away again, from storms, from memories, from emotions. Thankfully running towards God, who has taken me in, again. I am so grateful. I had a bad episode […]Read Post ›
In my last post here on The Wind, I shared how ashamed I was to not want to help myself get well. Upon further reflection the episode was cringe-inducing, and I must confess, my statements were frightening! Back in pool playing days my motto was, “It’s not the dog in the fight, it’s the fight in the […]Read Post ›
I am fighting right now, and you already know what is after me…negativity. Depression. Self Pity. Pain. Sadness…boo, boo, bad, hiss, grrr, mumble, mumble…SIGH… I have been feeling worse than usual in my physical self, heavy, cumbersome(love that word), out of breath, and oh! SO SLEEPY. Mentally? Running With Scissors!!!! WHEEEEE!!! Paint, Paint, draw, sculpt, glue, […]Read Post ›
