I am here again, on lock down of my own making. Wanting the isolation while longing for company. I feel unsure, unsteady, and oh, so tired. The dialogue inside my head has slowed, and the gist of it is dire, down and miserable. I hate myself like this, and that adds to my misery because […]Read Post ›
The wind blows, my mind slips back into some disturbing dream. Was it me then, or is it me now? I can’t believe where I have been. I yearn for escape, memories come reminding me what I have done. I chose a new way, on a hopeful day, changed my methods and my means… […]Read Post ›
I am happy to say, I was able to get back into my blogs here at WordPress, after a lengthy absence. I was unable to remember my sign in information for the longest time, but finally I was able to get back here!!! My sister blog, Out of the Gutter Art, has been languishing also, […]Read Post ›
I have been spinning my wheels today, trying for hours to get my blogs here on WordPress all straightened out. It is very difficult to keep settings and numbers straight in my head since I sustained that TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) in a fall in 2013. Along with all the other physical and Mental challenges […]Read Post ›
A deep abiding sadness, wistfulness… like watching a deer in the meadow, at dusk just before that shot rings out. Beauty/ Pain/ heartbreak/ death Their young faces haunt me, these young men I have not met. How strange it all was to them: Surreal Landscape, Unreal Assignments- You must die taking this hill, then let […]Read Post ›
Whew, this is a toughie. Daddy died March 7,2016, and I know how you all have followed our journey. He was such an amazing man, and a great father(despite minor glitches, like most dads). But for me, he was my world in these last years. The reason I got up in the morning, the reason […]Read Post ›
Let me start this blog off by saying that I am not a health care professional, nor am I licensed in any form of mental health capacity. All I am is a person in pain, having lost a dear loved one, and who also happens to suffer from Bipolar Disorder. So, in a sense, that […]Read Post ›
I have been my Dad’s Primary Caregiver for over six years now, and I was Mom’s before that as she battled and succumbed to colo/rectal cancer. It has been a long road, hard yes, but also full of love and tender moments that I treasure. Dad has been relatively pain free all his life, always […]Read Post ›
this is tough, this being me. i say all kinds of euphemistic things: endure, be brave, be faithful… a memory stirs, i am back to missing you. i am glad you are not suffering. i am glad the pain is gone. but here i am left, wondering. how do i carry on? my life is like […]Read Post ›
I am totally mixed up- headed for a crash all I have created- right into the trash. where will I be when the smoke clears? who will I be when the time nears? I hear voices all the time now’ can no longer recall which one is mine, I mean to call or drop a […]Read Post ›
