Starting Over, Over Again

             Things will seem to go OK, when suddenly they’ll stop,

.            Face in the dirt, there I lay-then poof! I am up top.

.            This brain of mine, this machine, that whirrs inside my head,

.             Makes the bells and whistles ding even when I lay in bed.

.             I need relief, some way, some how, to quiet racing thoughts,

Instead they throw some pills at me to make me who I’m not.

I always knew I would wind up alone,

.             Now that it happened, now that I’ve grown…

.             It’s the worst pain I’ve ever known.

.             Can you see me going mad in here?

.             Can you hear me? Can you, Dear?

.             There’s a slim chance, if you hurry,

.             That all the scary things will scurry,

.             That the sky will clear, the rain will stop-

.             And once again I’ll be on top.

Categories: art, Artistic Excellence, Bipolar Art, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Depression, clean, Creativity, digital art, disability, dreams, Excellence, faith, Flashbacks, garden art, gift, gratitude, grief, Handicapped, Hope, identity, Injustice, insomnia, Joy, love, Mania, mental illness, metamorphosis, artist, love, change, recovery, rebirth, Mixed Media, Murals, out of the gutter, outsider art, pain, painting, poems, Psychiatrist, PTSD, re-purposed, Recovery, Healing, recycled art, sexual assault, Shame and Guilt, sobriety, Success, Therapy, UncategorizedTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Susan T. Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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